Six savvy steps to expand your Presence:

(Take one and home in on it.  Then, the next.  Low and slow is a tender act.)

1.  Practice mindfulness.

Starting today, truly experience everything you do. The purpose here is twofold:

1.  To embrace the present moment (the hub of presence.)
2.  To quiet the automatic thoughts and feelings that arise ad nauseum.

Are you telling us not to think and feel?

No. I’m inviting you to simply observe your thoughts and feelings as the detached silent witness. In a mindful state, you see, instead of interpreting them as good or bad, right or wrong, you make Space – allowing your mental play-by-play to do its thing.  No labels attached.

And this helps to…?

Be in the experience, but not of the experience.

Now we get to enjoy the fullness of every situation without getting lost in the projections and associations of the world and what may be playing out.  It requires patience, compassion, a judgment-free ethos, and a helluva lot of redirection.

The benefit?

That Space between thoughts:  it’s where our Light lives.

2.  Meditate and radiate.

Don’t let the concept of meditation make you uncomfortable. It’s not as intimidating and demanding as it sounds.

You don’t need to sit in a special position, recite a specific mantra, inflict pain on yourself, shave your head, touch your thumb to your index finger while chanting OM, or renounce the world. You can meditate anytime, anywhere, and on your own terms. Truthfully, I encourage you to create an authentic practice.

That said, it is exactly that: a practice. If stillness is your kryptonite, you’ll have to meditate past the initial turbulence. If you (honestly) never get comfortable, consider a moving meditation. (If that’s your go-to, I still recommend a few silent minutes of breathing each day.)

The 411 on meditation…

It’s an exercise in getting still and connecting to your Source. It’s conscious breathing, ’tis all.

The best way to start is by making it a ritual.  I like first thing in the morning upon waking, and last thing at night before retiring.  A silent start and a silent sleep bookend most of my days. This way I enter and exit each day in quietude.  To begin, try the following:

1.  Place your hand on your heart and connect with its beat.  Lup-dup, lup-dup, lup-dup.
2.  Acknowledge it as your reason for being.
3.  Thank it.
4.  Follow your breath.

Thoughts will come and go, and well, it doesn’t matter.  The mind will do its thing.  Someday you’ll breathe beyond that. For now, inhale slowly through your nose and exhale through your mouth (or all nose as I prefer – this way you’re consciously breathing.) Feel the stillness and repeat as necessary.  Continue as long as you deem fit (I recommend at least 5 minutes.)

And tada! You’ve just meditated. Congratulations. Real rocket science, I’m aware.  And you didn’t have to give blood or join a cult – although I could recommend a few good ones… (that’s a joke.)

Just one more thing…

Take that radiance (and presence) into the world.

3.  Charge it with LOVE.

Just like your iPhone needs a jolt through an electrical outlet, so too does our Presence. Make it habitual to plug in and charge intensely with the most powerful source in the world – L-O-V-E.

Wow, could you BE any more abstract?!

The more we charge our Presence (e.g. an afternoon walk, a good book, an extra meditation, a clean diet, a long massage, some verbal TLC, an epic guitar solo) with undivided and unconditional attention, the more we ARE it.  In doing so, nothing can disrupt your state of being.  Presence will be the gift that keeps on giving.

4.  Create sincere affirmations.

Speaking of verbal TLC and redirection, a quick way to bring all your faculties into the RIGHT NOW is by affirming and declaring your Vision.

In search of a calm day at the office?  Command it on the drive to work.
Looking for property for a new home?  State your desire of some Youniversal support.
Want a speech or blind date to go smoothly?  Recall a time of your utmost confidence.

What separates this from a traditional, read-it-off-the-sheet, pre-programmed decree is the upfront and honest nature backing it.  You’re not declaring artificial proclamations that unconsciously you don’t believe.  If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.  And most definitely don’t COMMAND it. It’s counteractive to do so.

If you’re scared shitless, worried sick, or stressed beyond belief, let it be known first, and THEN ask for assistance by affirming what you do want.  Like so:

Hey Youniverse, this presentation has me all sorts of nervous. Let me merge with it so that I may deliver the heart of my message: clearly and calmly.

What up Youniverse, the void I face through my social media cleanse has me crazy anxious. May the Space I create in its absence inspire and fulfill me in unimaginable ways.

Pretty simple stuff, really.  Checklist:

1. Keep it real,

then

2. Keep it Light.

5.  Pick some up at will call.

Like a ticket?

Si.

They sell Presence? Saweeeeeeeet! Do they take Venmo?

Holy millennial, but no and no.

What’s the catch?

They don’t sell Presence because it’s complimentary via the greatest gift of all – Free Will.  And through the simple act of choice (saying YES to ourselves), we can access it anytime.

At the Free Will counter, there’s a permanent ticket with your name on it.  Whether you pick it up is up to you.

6.  Give presence/presents, get presence/presents.

I’ll make this real simple.

You want love?  Give it.
You want abundance?  Dish it.
You want truth?  Live it.
You want joy?  Feel it.
You want peace?  Bring it.
You want presence?  Give presence.

The more you give, the more you get.  In my 32 years of living, I have yet to find a more sure-fire approach to spiritual health and happiness.

And that’s a wrap on Spiritual Key #2.

(As always, add your ingredients to the recipe.)
hi there

Now that you’ve had time to play with the willingness factor, let’s dive into fresh water and identify key numéro dos… PRESENCE.

So, what exactly is presence?  As K.LITE vocab ascertains:

Presence – the act of surrendering to the Now; attendance to Being;  God in Action.

Alternate jargon:  the Master Within, He/She That Governs, the Keynote Address.

Hold up! God?! Where?!

Right in front of me, bro.  (“Literal” student slowly gazes to his left, then his right – scared, but excited with what he might see.)

Is this some kind of joke to you?

If you’re looking for phenomena, your search will continue.  That, God is not.  In all honesty, I should have said:

In front of me, behind me, beside me, and all around me.  In front of you, behind you, beside you, and all around you.

I get it, we’re all God.  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yep.  And if you shift a speck of a speck of that sarcasm and the wall of fear it hides behind into your Presence, man, you’ll be a force to reckon with.

But yes, God, Love, Light, Greatness, Presence, we ALL have it. It’s in the front row, the back row, the janitor’s closet, you name it.

FINE PRINT:  We’re only God in action if we exercise that gift (refer to: free will.)
hello

PRESENCE 101

Imagine the opening credits to a Hollywood film.

Before things begin, the production company announces Such n’ Such Pictures presents Such n’ Such Movie.  Typically, it’s a hint of what’s to come.

I analogize this to presence. Try the following exercise:

(Insert your name HERE) Pictures/Productions

PRESENTS…

(Insert your gift to the world/Soul purpose/Radiance HERE)

E.g.  T.J.O. Productions presents Keepin’ It Light

Well done. Welcome to presence!

Presence is our second-by-second production to the world. Like a walking, talking movie poster of sorts. Better yet, a movie trailer. Its soul purpose – yes soul, not sole (that’s fishy business) – is to pump our spiritual gas tank as a means to fund our earthly experience.

The only difference, however, is we can rewrite and/or redirect our presence (aka our production) at any time. On demand. Free of charge. No hidden fees.  Or monthly inflation (ahem… Netflix… excuse me.)

Disclosure:  Be careful not to practice presence to be seen by others in a particular way. Unlike the movies, this isn’t for show. That’s not true presence. It’s a facade and an outer motive. Presence operates from the inside-out.  (As an alternate analogy, consider a radio.  Here, presence is your signal:  felt, but not seen.)

Now, why do we call this state presence?  Two reasons:

1.  It’s born and bred in the present (the only moment that exists)

and

2.  Like a present, it’s our gift to the world.

Your presence is all good things rolled into one – like a spiritual doobie of sorts (liberal toking permitted) – love, patience, gratitude, kindness, compassionate command, truth, self-care, (fill in the blank).  It’s vibrato hits the high note.  Your high note. Your KEYnote.

You know the whole “the truth shall set you free” bit?

Uh yeah, it’s in the Bible – where God lives.

Can’t let it go, huh buddy?

Anyhow, truth, in this case, equals freedom. It’s your presence in action. The adage should read “Your presence shall set you free.”  Cause it will.

You see, presence is the sun and it only knows light. It thrives on intention and grows from attention.

And when we harness our internal worlds with dogged devotion and service to our Presence (to the LIGHT within), nothing can block our flow. Nothing. It goes as we go, and conjointly, brightens the whole of existence.

If all we ever did was fund our presence with unmitigated, loving fidelity, it would be enough.  Wars would end and separation would cease. Presence is our guitar string.  It’s tune is in our hands.

CLOSING STATEMENT (aka THE PART THAT HITS HOME)

I find the most effective way to paint presence is through a set of self-reflective and opportunity-laced questions. h(Warning: lots of encouragement to follow.)

Ready? GO!

Do you know how grand you are?

The magic of your current inhale?  The miracle of your next exhale?

Do you have the faintest freckle of an idea of the level of mastery and peace at your command by simply choosing to be right here, right now?

No really, do you?

Are you willing to accept that?  Are you willing to go to that place?

To love all you can love?  To give all you can give?  To breathe all you can be?

To just be still?

And then…

Can you deliver that God energy – that Presence to everyone and everything you touch?

To friends, family, colleagues, and strangers?

To the doubters, the negative Nancy’s, and your piece of shit boss?

What about the ass in traffic and the bitch behind the counter?

Can you?

Can you be so adamantly committed to LOVE and LIGHT and HARMONY that it penetrates limitation and manipulation in the darkest of corners?

Could you move one step closer to the Light when everyone in the room is in a trance of limitation?

Can you leave your phone in the other room during suppertime – maybe even turn it off? And be oh-so present to the conversation and food and people before you that the notion of time and space are but distractions from the majesty of this moment, the only thing that matters and exists?

Can you be grateful for what you have regardless of how small life can feel?

Can you give one more ounce of unconditional love when all you want and all you think you need and deserve is to receive it in return for once in your damn life?

Can you pause and take a long, deep breath when speeding up is the easiest thing to do?  I mean, everyone else is doing it.

So, can you?

Presence can.
Start with 20 minutes.
Castles begin with a single stone.

Tune that String,

hi

{Photo by Caley Dimmock on Unsplash}

Five ways to let willingness kickstart your world today:

(Comfort-zone stretching… prepare for takeoff.)

1.  Say YES (in alignment with your light.)

If you want to see and feel your brightest, boldest, most bad-ASS colors, start by saying YES to life.

When reflecting on how I’ve grown over the years, my immediate response is that I’ve said YES more frequently – from a new yoga class to reading a different kind of book to embracing a stranger to starting a blog to traveling to India solo to going gluten-free, I’ve embraced an ad-nauseum-YES attitude.

YES has become my personal assistant for two specific reasons:

First and foremost, it serves as a spark and change-agent on days my psyche and soul need a bit of a shakeup. In saying the magic word, I’m always given clarity, inspiration, and a new sense of confidence just by stepping outside the box (courtesy of some good ole adventure.)

Secondly, when fear and doubt attempt to loiter around said psyche, YES is my security blanket – dispelling and protecting against the whirlwind of egoic thoughts which can lead to paralysis.  Ipso facto, I stay heart-centered.

Beneath the surface though, what are we saying YES to (above and beyond the mere activity)?

Ourselves.  It’s about momentum, really. (Remember this mini sermon about momentum?)

Of all the Spiritual Keys, willingness demands some YES. It’s how you open doors and move energy. Try a little today.

* * * If you’re wondering about the “in alignment with your light” part above, refer to #5 for the answer.

* * * * Despite our comfort-zone launch, this stuff is hardly rocket science.

2.  Delete stubbornness.

Want a foolproof way of accessing the Art of Feeling Good via willingness? Loosen and/or annihilate its evil twin – stubbornness.

Stubborn:  obstinately unmoving; fixed or set in purpose or opinion.

K.LITE lexicon:

Stubbornness:  thoughts, reactions, and beliefs that trip us up, or “stub” our progress/light

Side effects include but are not limited to inactivity, numbness, defensiveness, and heartache. Throw those qualities on your next job application…

When I was a pup, stubbornness was my Achilles heel. Rather than let willingness work for me (clearing many a path), I let stubbornness block me in (closing many a door.)

And not only did it close the door, but it sealed it, deadbolted it, and made me utterly immune to a lot of life MAGIC.

Fast forward to the present and that grip has loosened dramatically. As a result, I have a smile on my face and I’m more open than ever. But how did it loosen?

Like most good things, it took a bit of determination and practice. I decided that whiting-out stubbornness would require a conscious effort on my part to conquer any and all thoughts and things that didn’t support me. It was a mission.

Long story short, I chose to be willing by committing 144% to my individual growth.  Ahhh, choosing… a free-of-charge endeavor.

K.LITE Rhetorical Pop Quiz…

Which group of words do you most associate with growth?

A.) Inflexibility, unyielding, fixed, unreasonable, myopic, and negativistic.
B.) Ready, responsible, energetic, deliberate, forward, prompt, zealous, and in-motion.

What do they call that experience when you cut the living room corner and walk your big toe right into the couch? That’d be a toe “stub.” Hardly dangerous, highly painful.  (My eyes water just thinking about my last one.)

Choose wisely folks.

 3.  Keep things sunny-side up.

 “I am an optimist.  It does not seem too much use being anything else.”
                                                                                                  – Winston Churchill

Attitude is everything.  And optimism is mandatory for willingness to do its thing. How mandatory?  Mandatory as in there’s a NO NEGATIVITY TRESPASSING sign posted to its property.

Optimism — the choice to “opt in” to life

Science now too is proving the benefits of an optimistic outlook. Remember, the good drastically outweighs the not-so-good on this planet. If you ever need proof of this, just imagine that you’re living on a rock that spins in space at a speed of 1,000 mph.  Far out, right?

Oh wait… you already are. (This, my friends, is what you call a Miracle.) Your SnapChat page not loading while waiting in line at the DMV is NOT a crisis. Now where was I?  Oh, right…

More often than not, life is simply a matter of how you choose to look at things. Does shit happen in the world? Sure does. So no, you don’t have to talk like a fortune cookie. But you should definitely INquire.

Do I prefer soft, productive thoughts that flow? Or rigid, stressful thoughts that constrict?

Your call.

4.  Eliminate resistance.

Simply put, resistance is fear of the unknown. And a close relative of stubbornness.  (Phewww… talk about a family reunion.)

The underlying premise of resistance is actually the fear of victory – victory being, of course, your God-given right to thrive.  When you resist, you withstand against yourself.  (Wow, even typing that hurt.)

So here’s my challenge…

What if, rather than ignoring the ambiguity willingness may bring, you saw it as a gift basket full of surprises?  No matter how outlandish and different a situation may seem, make it a point to welcome change with an open mind and heart.

None of us know where the road may lead. But only those who throw it in drive will ever get to know.

(Want to really understand resistance?  Read this book.  Sheer genius.) 

5.  Say NO (in alignment with your light).

What?!?!

Let me guess.  This completely contradicts the say YES propaganda?

How can’t it?

Like so…

Say you enjoy the company of catching up with your old high school buddies/sorority sisters/what have you.  However, the environment in which they participate (barhopping and partying and gossiping and the never-ending reminiscence of the “good ole days”) – yes, my famous “self” keg stand I remember quite well, uh thank you – isn’t conducive to your growth.  Does that support you to keep showing up?

No, but it makes me a good friend.

No, it makes you an imposter because a good friend is an honest friend.  And you can’t be an honest friend if you’re not honest with yourself.

But what will they think?!

By the look on your face, I’m gonna speculate that “who cares?” isn’t a sufficient retort?

(Silence.)

How about this?  Have you ever seen the movie YES MAN?

Yep. He said YES to everything and landed Zooey Deschanel!!!

Good point, but…

… at the end of the film, Terrence (the head of the YES seminar) tells Carl (played by Jim Carrey) that there was no YES covenant to begin with. It was merely an avenue to stimulate action and open Carl’s mind to infinite possibilities. Carl needed a shakin.’  And YES shook him out of his stubbornness.

Yeah, so…

Well just like Carl, you too can (and should) say “no” if need be.  For most, it will be the ultimate willingness challenge.  It too is the “in alignment with your light” part.

Meaning?

That willingness is futile if it goes against your personal code. It’d be five steps forward and six steps back.  It’s “facing it” versus “pushing it.”

Yes opens doors.  No keeps ’em open.

In this scenario, “no” is a roundabout way of saying YES – to our truth that is. It’s a high form of self-love (ahem… boundaries.)  Which means people won’t get it.  You’ll be dubbed selfish, inconsiderate even.

Yeah Jane, she’s not coming… something about a bath and a good book tonight.
Oh John, no 50th party for him. Going fly fishing with his dog (scoff.)
Nope, Nancy’s out on Secret Santa this year. Such a Scrooge!
Steve, yeah, he’s really “changed.” (My personal favorite.)

Squawkers will squawk.  Their guilty YES’s are a big disservice to mankind. Your NO?  It’s an invitation AND permission for all to choose honorably. Maybe even for themselves for the first time. If YES’s are brave, NO’s are heroic.

“Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”
-Steve Jobs

Thanks Steve.

But how do I differentiate between stretching myself (yes) and honoring myself (no)?

You’ll know.  (Get it? You’ll “no.”)

Oh c’mon!

Trust me, you’ll know.

Stay willing my friends,

hi there

Get your notebooks out ladies and gents, this one’s important.  (And by important I mean imperative to everything happy and fulfilling and victorious in your world.)

Willingness is the mother of all keys to a spiritually-fueled life.

Yes siree, Robert. Sans willingness, the subsequent four keys could and would not be possible.  In fact, they wouldn’t even exist because they couldn’t be experienced. (Note to your Self:  if you’re reading this, you’re willing.)

Put simply, willingness is choosing. It is a prereq to all spiritual paths, a springboard to adventure, and a gateway to freedom. It is the law. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Hold up… what about the whole “Love is what makes the world go round” spiel?  Shouldn’t that be first?

Bait taken.  Here’s why it’s not:

Could you love fully and completely, or at all for that matter, without an open heart?  (That’s a rhetorical question.)

It is only when you are willing that you truly love. Show me an unwilling lover and I’ll show you a talented Kardashian. Willingness comes first, always and forever. The same goes for gratitude, change, acceptance, stillness, and taking action.

To be grateful, you must be willing to appreciate.
To experience a new life story, you must be willing to let go of the old one.
To accept others, you must be open to non-judgment.
To be still, you must be willing to enter the silence.
To take action, you must be willing to show up.
To (your preferred ideal), you must be willing to (fill in the blank.)

Attempt any of these without willingness and you’ll never leave the driveway. N-E-V-E-R.  Get it?  Got it?  Good.

Now, before I define willingness, let’s talk about its source. Where does willingness begin? (A man in the crowd raises one hand with the other pointing down towards his head.)

Precisely!

Willingness starts with you. Just look at its root: will. Or the first five letters… will I? Your free will is the catalyst. Through our choices we have front-row seats to a field of possibility.

The K.LITE Dictionary reads:

Willingness – the state of being open to moving forward; adherence to flow; readiness; resistance remedy, serendipity spark, the Open Door policy.

The Open Door policy?  Say what!?!?

Si, abre la puerta. If there’s one thing to be taken from this post, make it this mantra:

I AM the Open Door.

(That’s a referral to you, not me.  Well, all of us actually.  First person works best.)

Write it big and loud and colorful. Put stars around it. Highlight it. Underline it once, twice, three times. Make it your screensaver, iPhone wallpaper, car bumper sticker, your next tattoo. Tweet it, snap it, pin it, bop it, whatever the kids do.

“I AM the open door” is willingness as a means to fruition – that for doors to open, we must first open ourselves. By doing so, what you need to start your car will be shown to you.

Opportunities arise (that job shows up.)
Synchronicities multiply (a new class or idea pops up in more than one place.)
Books fall off shelves (or in my case, I find them in the abyss of the woods where no book could ever possibly be.)
Conduits stand next to you in the grocery line ( … one thing leads to another.)
Magical 3^rd, 4^th, and 5^th options appear.

But you must be willing to be yourself and be it fully. You must be willing to explore alternate paths. You must be willing to be vulnerable (like this road story.) You must be willing to receive the guidance the You-Niverse (your intuition, what have you) is delivering. You must be willing, you must be willing, you must be willing.

Does this mean we have to say YES to everything new and different?

Absolutely not. What good is willingness if it goes against the code of who you are?  It does mean, however, recognizing our need to continually grow by shedding old habits, accepting new truths, occasionally stepping out of the box and/or pushing the envelope.  For this, a leap will be required.  Know what I’m sayin?’

In The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra writes, “When we realize that our true Self is one of pure potentiality, we align with the power that manifests everything in the universe.”

I liken this to willingness.

When we’re unwaveringly willing to both give and receive willingness to the utmost degree, our Heart’s Desires (our Inside) merge with those of the Youniverse, awakening a force so alive and so magnetic that the “how” shows up and alignment is all that can and will endure.

Greek playwright Aeschylus mirrors this by saying, “When one is willing and eager, the gods join in.” Hear, hear!  (Feel free, however, to swap “gods” for your own personal precept – Love, Light, God, Divinity, Moana, Jesus, Magic, Norman at the deli, that tree in your frontyard, who or whatever revs you up.)

By allowing fresh light to stream in, we wield our willpower. Through the humility to begin and the courage to evolve, there is no person or thing that is not the Open Door.

On the bright side (if you need one)…

Willingness is the ultimate answer to life’s roadblocks – spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional. Willingness has the superpower of turning the impossible in to the possible, confusion in to clarity, and walls in to ways. It makes an outstanding companion, and an even better doorstop. And sometimes, it’s just a simple thought away.

So, how strong will you allow your willingness to be?  Where will you allow it to expand today, tomorrow, this week? Can you open up just a teeny tidbit more?

Play with the key.  Love the key.  Live the key.  Be the key.

Its potential is up to you.

Willingly,
light

* Tune in next week for the How To’s of Willingness. These will be fun.

((Photo by Philipp Berndt on Unsplash))